Tag Archives: Humor

Playtime’s Over, Doll

She felt her heart being smothered against his as he snatched her with his vise-like grip ….

We Can Get You Any Kind Of Insurance

Insurance is a practice or arrangement by which a company provides a guarantee of compensation for specified loss, damage, illness, or death in return for payment of a premium. In theory, most anything can be insured against potential losses – even Go-Go girls!

Insure yourself against Go-Go girl losses!

We accept Go-Go Girl Insurance … ask for Cookie.

I Was Having A Bad Day

She was having a bad day when she met Len. Just look at her!

Too many truck drivers out there!

She asks again, not expecting this …

Tragedy yet again. Another damn truck driver!

The End

Giving 100% Isn’t Enough

What makes 100%? What does it mean to give more than 100%? Do you ever wonder about the people who say they are giving more than 100%? Surely, you have been in a situation where someone wanted you to give over 100%. Can you really achieve 110%?

 Here is a little mathematical exercise that could possibly help us to answer these burning questions.

 If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

but,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

and,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

but, look how far ass kissing will take you:
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, we can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it’s the bullshit and ass kissing that will put you over the top….

The Newest Internet Billionaire

PRESS RELEASE:  From erichatheway.com

After successfully completing the exhaustive approval process
by the SEC, FTC, FCC and BSBB, it our pleasure to make the
following announcement to our loyal readers and subscribers:

“EricHatheway.com and The Clog have been sold to iLoof.com 
for the handsome sum of $235.79 billion dollars (US) plus an
undisclosed amount of stock options and other incentives ….”

The Artist will return after a “short vacation.”

War Is Nuts!

Seen all those squirrels running amok in your yard? Are they dropping acorns on your head and messing with your bird feeder? Seems that suburbia is under attack from a sneaky little army of well-equipped rebel squirrels. Who funds these insurgent rodents is not exactly clear, but it is increasingly evident that the rebel squirrel army is operating with advanced high-tech weaponry, commando training and cute little squirrel helmets.

According to sources, there is a rebel squirrel army that is based in the Mammoth Cave area of Kentucky. The FBI believes a squirrel named Stockton Dupres runs a terrorist training camp where rebel insurgent squirrels from around the country come to train and learn their irritating craft. Graduates from this terrorist squirrel camp are thought to be involved in the dirty war now being waged against squirrel hunters across the south. It is also believed that the rebel squirrel army is heavily involved in covert bird feeder raids and the launching of acorns and pecans at any human within range.

In response to the recent upsurge in rebel squirrel activities, a special elite force of highly trained squirrel eradicators has been formed to rid our suburbia of the invading rebel squirrel forces. Let’s wish our troops much luck because as we all know, it’s very hard to chase down a squirrel, much less a rebel squirrel. Dang critters!