‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (Cat Edition)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring—except Stella, the louse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
While Trudy chewed one like it wasn’t even there.

The humans were nestled all snug in their bed,
While five cats did parkour over their heads.
With Mowgli in the window and Millie on my lap,
They’d just all agreed the tree was a great place to nap.

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the hallway I flew like a flash,
To find Derwood face-deep in the holiday trash.

The moon on the fur of the just-shredded bow
Gave the luster of chaos to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Stella, with tinsel stuck clear in her ear.

With tiny quick paws, so lively and spry,
I knew in a moment we were all doomed—oh my!
More rapid than reindeer, the felines they came,
And I whistled and shouted and called them by name:

“Now Miliie! Now Trudy! Now Mowgli and Derwood!
On Stella! Off curtains! You’ve caused enough!”
To the top of the counter! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Don’t knock down that ball!

As dry kibble before the wild fan does fly,
When met with a vacuum, they flee to comply.
So up to the housetop the furballs they flew,
With a mouthful of ribbon and Trudy’s toy too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each tiny goof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the hallway came Mowgli with not one single sound.

He was dressed in no fur but his natural coat,
All sleek and all shiny, like a sleek black boat.
A bundle of ornaments he had in his teeth,
And he looked like a thief sneaking right underneath.

His eyes—how they twinkled! His whiskers, how merry!
His paws were all muddy from knocking the holly berry.
His mouth was full of baubles, clenched tight like a clamp,
And his tail was all poofy from his hallway night ramp.

The humans awoke, with a groan and a sigh,
While five cats played tag underneath the tree sky.
Then they all curled together, as cats always do,
In the very gift boxes we’d just bought brand new.

I laughed as I watched them, this feline delight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

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